When the World Is Loud, Leadership Sounds Like This

Right now, global events are really loud.

The constant commentary from people who care nothing for human life.
A sweet boy lost to bullying.
The never ending stream of misbehavior from people who know better.

It makes it hard to focus on doing good when the world keeps reminding you how much is broken.

Here is the truth we do not say enough.

When bad things happen, we are supposed to feel bad.

Our emotions are not flaws.
They are signals.
Our bodies are the filter.

In the middle of trauma, I become a machine.
I am capable, functional, and focused.

It is after the immediate danger passes that my body takes over.

My throat tightens.
Sounds I have never willfully made rise up.
I cry.
My shoulders shudder.

There is an ache at the very center of my being, a kind of brain freeze around my soul.

And suddenly, I see it all.

Every single thing I tried to control but could not.
Every failure.
Every misstep.
Every flaw I have ever demonstrated.

Helplessness washes over me in waves.

Even though I am sitting in a warm house, wearing comfortable clothes, with a bath waiting, I feel naked.

I feel alone.
Stranded on the tundra.

Then, slowly and almost imperceptibly, my breathing regulates.

My eyes find the glass of water beside me.
The small flower arrangement on the console.
The sounds drifting in from the other room.

My body has done its job.

It has filtered my disbelief, my sorrow, my anger, and my pain.

When my head clears, I often choose not to keep staring into the endless stream of senselessness.

Not because I do not care.
But because I do.

Right now, there is only me.
The waiting bath.
My dog’s steady breathing.
The tired ache still lingering in my chest.

Later, I will process through reading, writing, and creating.

But in moments like this, I am choosy.

I am choosy about what I read.
Choosy about what I write.
Choosy about what I create.

Creation is where I make meaning.
Truth telling is how I refuse to harden.

Some days, the outside noise is relentless.
Headlines never stop.
Input never ends.
The world competes aggressively for our nervous system’s attention.

One of the disciplines of leadership, especially self leadership, is learning how to stay focused without becoming numb, and how to stay informed without becoming overwhelmed.

Tonight, I rest.

Not because I am disengaged.
Not because I do not care.

I rest because I need my strength for what comes next.

Tomorrow, I return to the work.

The quiet, meaningful work of building a community of people who are emotionally fit, physically grounded, and financially steady, one person at a time.

That work requires clarity.
It requires presence.
It requires an open heart.

And hearts like mine need tending.

So I choose rest tonight.

I let my body finish what it started.
I soften instead of bracing.

I will work tomorrow.
Tonight, I tend my tender heart.

I love you.
Stay.

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